Inyathelo in the Headlines

DESMOND TUTU - LEADERSHIP 01 Dec 2011

DESMOND TUTU Leadership His parents loved him. They spoilt him. It was always, 'Boy this and "Boy that". He was very spoilt by his mother. His mother thought the world of him, and he of her. He did not get on that well with his father. His father sometimes drank quite a bit, and he hated that. He hated when his father was soused. His father was so friendly when he was soused. He was very loving while under the influence. But Desmond did not like it at all. lie did not want his father to drink. We married in luly, and it was after Christmas when we actually moved into our own place. It was three rooms: a bedroom, a kitchen and a dining room. But we had a sofa in the dining mom, which we used as a guest bed.

There was sort of a shower with cold water, which we never used as a shower; instead, we used it as storage. There was no bathroom really to speak of. We used to warm water on the coal stove and have a bath in this big metal tub that we put in the centre of the room. That was the bathroom. Desmond never cooked like my father-in-law used to do. He was only good in cleaning. He would wash up. Actually, I think he is one of the few African men of his age who used to wash nappies. I am still surprised when I hear young women talking about men who will not do this and will not do that. I think he was far ahead of his time as far as helping in the house is concerned. We used to work together. Ile is a very tidy man, tidier than I am. He hates messes. He would get up and dust.

He would get up and sweep. We just shared baby caring. From the beginning, he was more of a parent than I have been. I am very short-tempered, and my children would never call out for me. It was always "Daddy, Daddy". At night, when the blankets had fallen off anybody's hack, it would always be "Daddy, Daddy, my blankets have fallen off." Never "Mummy" — they knew better. Nomalizo Leah Tutu is married to Tutu and is the mother of their four children. She championed the cause for better working conditions for domestic workem in South Africa and, in 1983, helped found the South African Domestic Workers Association. In 2010, together with her husband, she was awarded the Inyathelo lndima-Tema Philanthropy Award.